Joey sat on the edge of one of the recliners as he waited for Mrs. Hale to return with a few pillows and a fresh blanket for the couch. Mr. Hale was more right than he had realized, thought Joey, starting to feel the after effects of the emotional baggage that he had been carrying around the past few days since his diagnosis. Joey understood that there was no guarantee that his parents would let the Hale’s adopt him, but just the fact that they were willing to try and help made him feel less alone. That was what he realized when he told Roni he wasn’t immune, thought Joey, of all the emotions he felt, the one that was eating him up inside the most was that he was alone. None of his family would catch Smallara, nor would his friends in high school. He doesn’t know anyone personally that has a little, surprisingly given the company his parents keep, making talking to someone about what it was like nearly impossible. He considered asking Santiago and his wife if he could meet with their nephew but opted against it. He didn’t want to intrude on someone he didn’t really know and probe about their struggles. No, Joey would have to face this journey alone, without anyone to confide in or understand his experience.
The thumping of footsteps coming down the stairs brought Joey back to reality as he saw Mrs. Hale descend holding his makeshift bedding. “Here you go, Joey. We had a few extra pillows, one down, the other memory foam, and here’s a couple of blankets. You know the girls like it a little warmer, so I made sure to get something a little lighter for you” said Mrs. Hale with a warm smile as she sets everything down neatly on the couch for him to use during the night.
“Thanks Mrs. Hale…I really appreciate you and Mr. Hale always letting me stay here when I needed it.” said Joey with genuine appreciation and a large, sideways smile plastered on his face.
“Don’t even mention it Joey. You’ve always been welcome here and you always will be,” Mrs. Harris said, a small smile forming and loving twinkle in her blue eyes as she takes a few steps towards Joey before letting out a melancholic sigh, “I…I want to apologize from how Mr. Hale and I reacted earlier, Joey. It…was more than uncalled for, especially—” Mrs. Hale hesitated, looking down at the floor feeling guilty for the way both she and her husband reacted to Joey’s revelation, and how they reacted to Roni’s plan in general. She took a deep breath before continuing, “especially since you’ve always been a member of our family….and such a great friend of Roni’s”
Joey looked at her and frowned, his expression one of sadness and understanding. Their reaction to his revealing of his underbred status wasn’t really unexpected. Most people didn’t really know how to react to that sort of thing, but Joey had thought they were more level headed than others would be, especially with being blind sided by Roni’s plan to save him. Really, he didn’t blame them for their reaction at all, though part of him did wish they had been more compassionate from the start; Joey just more or less knew to expect the ostracisation from people he once thought he was much closer with.
Finally, despite the tightness in his stomach, Joey rested his hand on Mrs. Hales shoulder and let himself smile. He truly wanted to accept Mrs. Hale’s apology, but the hurst was still present. Still, Joey was a compassionate person, and seeing those he loved unhappy struck a chord in him. “It’s okay, Mrs. Hale. I know it was just…a bit of a shock and I don’t blame you. Thank you for apologizing, though. It means so much more to me than you know.”
Mrs. Hale’s lower lip quiver and she did her best to hold back from crying, unsure if she felt more guilt than pity, and took a few shaky breaths before continuing her sentiment. “I know you haven’t necessarily had an easy life…and finding out you’re a…” she immediately stops herself before continuing, “well….Mr. Hale and I know things really aren’t easy right now but, we love you, I promise, and we’ll do whatever we can to help you” she says, brushing some of her graying hair from her eyes before hugging Joey. “And please…call me mom from now on…even if things don’t work out”
Joey sighs happily in her embrace, returning her hug. “Thank you Mrs H…i mean…thank you, mom”
Pulling away with a grateful smile Mrs. Hale pats Joey on the leg “That’s a good boy. Now, you sleep tight. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow morning” and with that, Mrs. Hale stood up and walked up stairs, leaving Joey in the living room. He sets up the couch with one of the pillows and the blanket and settles in for a night of sleep, finally feeling a semblance of peace knowing he’s in a home with those that seem to actually care about his well being.
Finding a comfortable position on his back, Joey pulled the blanket over him and stared at the ceiling, his mind started to drift to what his future may hold and what life as a little would actually be like for him. He had always envisioned littles living in a community with one another, being supported by Generitech, working in tandem with humanity towards a better future. Now that he would be one, though, that idea seemed so much more distant and utopian than initially imagined. After all, there aren’t a lot of people trying to push for that idea. If anything, the average person was more than content with littles being treated as they are now, like domestic animals. The thought upset him, knowing from stories from actual good guardians that littles are much more than animals, that they speak intelligently and feel the full range of human emotions, that they are able to continuously learn when taught by their guardians. For some reason, though, this just doesn’t make it to the general public, and it’s unfair to smallborns and smallara victims alike. All Joey could do for now, though, was let out a sigh and take a few breaths to calm his nerves so he could fall asleep.
As he slowly managed to drift to sleep, Joey heard the opening of a door upstairs and some footsteps that stopped at the top of the stairwell a couple of moments, as if debating to come down stairs, before continuing on down the hall, another door closing soon after. Must have been Roni, thought Joey, thinking about times prior when he had stayed over and needed some space. She would always want to come down and check on him, but at the same time knew better than to disrupt his solitude. Not that he wouldn’t mind the company, but sometimes it was just good to be alone, and Roni understood that. He couldn’t help but smile at the possibility of being her brother, even chuckling lightly realizing he’d be the eldest child if everything went according to plan. Roni would probably get a little annoyed by him rubbing it in that he’s the big brother, but what brother wouldn’t go out of his way to annoy his sister, thought Joey as he finally fell into a deep slumber that had eluded him the past few nights.
In his slumber, Joey’s dreams were filled with fitful dreams of being a little. In some dreams, Joey found himself at the mercy of a cruel guardian. In this dream, he was forced to clean her shoes, only given a small cloth and some kind of industrial cleanser. The sweaty scent from the shoes mixed with the ammonia from the chemicals set his eyes and nose on fire, causing him to move slower than his guardian wanted. His hands trembled as he worked, but his guardian only grew more impatient, her voice sharp and unforgiving. When he couldn’t keep up, she picked him up like he was nothing, tossing him into a glass jar and flipping it upside down. The words she spat at him stung worse than the lack of air: “You’re not even worth breathing.”
In other dreams, Joey found himself behind plastic walls in a pet store, with a fake bedroom mural behind him trying to lull people into a sale. Random adults and children alike would stop to look at him as they passed through the store, studying him to see if he is a worthy little to be purchased. All of them would make some mundane comments about his height, saying that they didn’t know littles were so small, or his physique, having expected him to have more muscles for a 17 year old, or his looks, most comments about how he didn’t seem like a pure breed or that he wasn’t cute enough, all judgments superficial. They didn’t care that he was once like them: a human being, someone with a life, a family, and friends. His history, his humanity, seemed invisible, swallowed up by the small, boxed space that defined his new existence.
Each of these dreams cause Joey much discomfort in his slumber. They reinforced the future he expected for himself, a future of futility and powerlessness. He would be just another little, no longer Joey, at the mercy of whomever owned him.
During his slumber, there were also dreams that brought Joey moments of peace and even joy. These dreams were always centered around Roni, her presence a source of comfort. In one dream, Roni would walk into a store, recognition and sympathy running across her expression as she’d end up purchasing him from the store. Roni would hold him in her hand while cradling him against her chest, allowing Joey to feel her rhythmic heartbeat as her father drove them back home, whispering “you’re safe, Joey, you’re with me now” along the drive. That was all Joey needed to hear, his body melting into her embrace appreciatively as he finally found someone that would care and protect him
In another dream, Joey found himself in a much more peaceful setting. He and Roni were just resting in the backyard as if nothing had changed in the world. Roni was lazily lying in the family hammock, gently rocking back and forth under the shade of a large tree. Joey was laying on her belly as she rocked the hammock back and forth, her stomach raising and lowering with each breath she took while Joey relished in the warmth of her company, listening attentively to her. Their conversation drifted from topic to topic — school, their shared memories, and future plans — as if he wasn’t a little but just Joey again, safe in her company. The idea of being with Roni, in her care and comfort, helped be a ballast to the chaotic nightmares.
However it wasn’t all perfect. There was one nightmare that really troubled Joey. In this dream, Roni was his guardian but had grown cold and distant. She no longer provided comfort or friendship like she originally offered. Instead, Roni gave him irrefutable orders, her words harsh and unforgiving as she made him scrub her bicycle helmet, ignoring his pleas for a break or affection. More troublesome, Roni would rarely let him out of his habitat, despite once promising him freedom. Her coldness was a sharp contrast to the Roni he knew, and it tore at him.
This mixture of comforting dreams and terrifying nightmares serve to remind Joey that the trust between little and guardian was fragile, no matter what kind of relationship the two had prior. Though the idea of being with Roni filled him with hope, the fear that she could turn distant like in his dream was a constant shadow. It highlighted the uncertainty of the future and his deep-seated worry of being abandoned by even those he loved most.
A melodic chime pulled Joey from his slumber. He rose with an overhead stretch, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking to the side table of the couch to see that his phone alarm was going off, 6 AM sharp as usual. Joey’s lips curled into a small smile, thinking about times when his alarm would wake up Roni and she’d throw her pillow or whatever object was nearby at him in frustration, forcing him to sleep on the couch whenever he stayed over. Deciding to not waste too much time, Joey gathered his things and went upstairs to shower and get ready for the day. Afterall, it is possibly the most important one of his life.
1) So Joey never met Santiago’s littles? you’d think with his burning questions, and him helping them he’d have met their little at least once.
2) “You’ve always been welcome here and you always will be,” he very nearly wasn’t earlier tonight
3) I love how Mrs Hale is apologising for her reaction.
4) “And please…call me mom from now on…even if things don’t work out” That is so sweet.
5) “He had always envisioned littles living in a community with one another, being supported by Generitech, working in tandem with humanity towards a better future.” Well, we know that exists in this world, and I’m surprised Joey doesn’t. This story takes place a little after Dayton’s.
6.1) “. Roni would probably get a little annoyed by him rubbing it in that he’s the big brother” and then he’d be their little big brother.
6.2) “but what brother wouldn’t go out of his way to annoy his sister?” My style of brotherhood
7) realistic and dreams are common for littles, it’s interesting that he’s getting them before he shinks.
8) “he didn’t seem like a pure breed” No, he’d be immune if he was.
9) Roni dreams calming him sounds beautiful.
10) Cold Roni seems like it’d be the scariest nightmare due to it being the most possible, He’d likely know stories of littles who see their guardians’ actions towards them take drastically negative turns as time goes on.
I agree with your 6.2) lol
It’ll be fun to write lol
1) Santigo’s nephew lives with his Brother and Sister-in-law, and neither of them work for the Calhouns or really know Joey, they mostly just know of Joey by proxy and the Calhouns by public reputation. Joey’s pretty polite too and doesn’t like intruding, so he wouldn’t really be the type to try and set that up. He’d love it if it was offered, especially now since he’s going to be one, but he probably wouldn’t try to insert himself just for his own curiosity.
I should actually add that only Mr. Hale’s really met a little thus far, and he explained Lily’s “condition” as he saw it to Mrs. Hale and Roni
2) true. Them being under surveillance all night just cause Joey’s there probably was more of the logical issue, the other stuff was more of emotional knee jerk reactions
3) she really felt bad about it, and doesn’t really let pride get in the way of that sort of thing.
4) she’s a sweet person, mostly influenced by her childhood.
5) I had thought about rewriting that but part of me wasn’t too certain how public that information would be since, unless I missed it in Smallara Proper or Madison’s world, it’s only really talked about in Training, and my understanding is that there are NDA’s in place for guardians so they can’t really disclose too much from the training themselves.
6.1,6.2) he’s going to love it lol even if it’s just a technicality right now. If all works out, I’d say it’s how he always pictured a relationship with a sister being
7) That’s true. I think I’ve come up with some good preinfection ideas that kinda help show certain things people go through
8) lol fair point. those people would be thinking of a smallborn
Sorry, was in a hurry to leave my house so I didn’t get to finish my reply lmao
9) the one in the hammock I loved writing. That’s my ideal situation if I was a little.
10) 100%. It’d be a real blow to Joey and probably break him if Toni ended up being like one of those stories he’s read online. I think the real trick to those stories too is that theres no guarantee that they’re all in America. Could be from other English speaking countries, but he might build up in his head that it’s all in the United States and that’s why he’s so worried