Ezra let the warm water run over him in Dayton’s sink, and he didn’t let himself pretend it was anything else.
This wasn’t a temporary indignity. It wasn’t a weird one night crisis. This was the new shape of his life: porcelain walls, a stopper in the drain, a capful of little-safe soap that smelled like berries because a thirteen-year-old liked it.
Dayton’s bathroom.
His bath.
The reality didn’t need words. It sat on his shoulders like weight.
He could feel the waterline against his ribs, the faint slip of warmth at his skin. He could hear Dayton moving above him, the small sounds of her routine, normal life continuing while he existed down here in a space built for hands and faces, not a person his size.
And he hated that part of him wanted to reach for his old defenses. Sarcasm. Authority. The instinct to lecture. The instinct to win.
There was nothing left to win.
He was Dayton’s little now, whether he liked it or not. That truth was so complete it almost felt calm.
Looking back, he shouldn’t have avoided asking for help.
That was the first real mistake, the one that made every other mistake easier.
He hadn’t chosen the district because he believed in it. He’d chosen it because it let him avoid people. Paperwork didn’t ask you how you were coping. Institutions didn’t look at you with pity. A system didn’t make you admit out loud that you needed someone.
If he handed himself to a corporation, at least he wouldn’t have to hand himself to a human being.
He’d told himself that was dignity.
It wasn’t dignity. It was denial with a signature line.
He’d known the district wasn’t his friend. He wasn’t naïve. He just hadn’t expected them to be so… eager. So efficient. So ready to turn him into a resource the second he gave them permission.
And when the law caught up, they didn’t protect him. They didn’t even hesitate. They dropped him like a liability and moved on.
That should have been the part that made him furious.
But the truth was, his anger had done more damage than the district ever could.
He saw it now with the clarity that came from being trapped in a sink while his former student stood above him like a world.
He’d been brazen. He’d been reckless. He’d refused to wear a collar because he couldn’t stand the symbol of it. He’d told himself it was principle, that he was resisting something wrong.
But principle wasn’t what had been driving him in those moments.
Pride had.
Humiliation had.
Fear had.
And then there was Dayton.
He’d targeted her on purpose.
He could say it now. He couldn’t hide behind “standards” or “discipline” or the comforting lie that he was just trying to manage a classroom.
He’d picked Dayton because she was competent, because she was unafraid, because she walked through the world like the rules were tools instead of chains. Because she was trained. Ranked. Because she represented everything he couldn’t admit he’d become: someone small in a world that didn’t care.
It made him furious that she could accept the system and still keep her spine.
So he’d tried to take hers.
He’d turned her into the example because he wanted to feel in control of something, anything. He’d woven her into lessons with that sharp tone, that careful use of her name, because it gave him a tiny hit of power in a life that was slipping out of his hands.
And when he started teaching without a collar, when he let his resentment spill into the classroom, it wasn’t because he didn’t understand the risk.
It was because he didn’t care.
Part of him had wanted to be caught.
Part of him had wanted the world to prove him right.
Instead, the world had proven it could crush him faster than he could make a point.
Ezra let himself slide a fraction deeper into the warm water, not to disappear, just to feel the weight of it. To feel the limits of what he was now.
He stared at the curved wall of porcelain. At the faint scratches in it, like tiny histories. At the stopper that made the sink “safe,” the way a cage could be safe.
He breathed in. Berries. Soap. Clean.
He didn’t feel clean.
He felt sentenced.
The thought came, quiet and final:
He was going to spend the rest of his life as Dayton Harris’s little.
And then another thought, worse because it wasn’t even dramatic, it was just a fact assembling itself:
Names followed ownership. Records followed names. The world loved paperwork.
He wasn’t just Ezra Rhys anymore.
He was Ezra Harris.
The water was warm. The truth was colder.
Thus far he’s progressing through grief pretty fast, acceptance is usually the last piece. i don’t think he’s fully there, but him admitting to himself what he did and why is a big step. Best thing he can do next is apologize, whether or not she forgives him.
0) Was not expecting a dialogue-free episode in the Middle of this conversation, lol
1) “a capful of little-safe soap that smelled like berries because a thirteen-year-old liked it.” he had the opportunity to pick something else
2) “There was nothing left to win.” Not for Ezra, plus any winning he did now would likely be met with retaliation
3) “Looking back, he shouldn’t have avoided asking for help. That was the first real mistake, the one that made every other mistake easier.” I think we’ve all had that hindsight at some point
4) “He hadn’t chosen the district because he believed in it. He’d chosen it because it let him avoid people.” avoiding people is also relatable
5) “He’d been brazen. He’d been reckless. He’d refused to wear a collar because he couldn’t stand the symbol of it. He’d told himself it was principle, that he was resisting something wrong.” well, he was fighting something wrong, but fighting the law usually leads to the law winning
6) “But principle wasn’t what had been driving him in those moments. Pride had. Humiliation had. Fear had. ” not always mutually exclusive
7) “He’d picked Dayton because she was competent, because she was unafraid, because she walked through the world like the rules were tools instead of chains.” All really stupid reasons to hate her.
8) “It made him furious that she could accept the system and still keep her spine.” Well, it is a system that benefits her. Little Dayton hates the system because it does to her what Biggle Dayton supports happening to others.
9) “Part of him had wanted to be caught. Part of him had wanted the world to prove him right.” If his point was that “Littles are oppressed”, it did.
10) “He didn’t feel clean. He felt sentenced.” He was sentenced.
11) ‘The thought came, quiet and final: He was going to spend the rest of his life as Dayton Harris’s little.” and that’s gonna be a long damn life.
12) “He wasn’t just Ezra Rhys anymore. He was Ezra Harris”, and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Ah, Ezra’s fall into being Dayton’s little has been glorious to watch, because he brought it upon himself.
Looks like Ezra has given up. That’s disappointing. Of course his true reasons for his actions are disappointing as well. I was hoping he would have been a true stodgy academic (which could include his being an a$$hole) and now we find his actions were all due to his feelings of inadequacy and jealousy.
At this point I can see Ezra eventually turning into a true pet, how sad.