Becoming Grey 28

Chapter 28 

February 5, 2022 

Callie was locking the apartment when Juna announced that she had forgotten something. Callie stopped with the key still in the door and looked at the library books under her arm, the bag over her shoulder, and Gus pressed against her daughter’s chest. They had the things they had come out for. Juna was wearing both shoes, which Callie had checked before they reached the hallway. “What?” 

“My picture.” Juna turned back toward the door. 

“We’re returning books. You don’t need your picture.” 

“I want to show it.” Juna pointed at the apartment as though this explained which picture and who needed to see it. 

Callie tried to remember whether they had made some arrangement she had forgotten. Juna had brought several paintings home from preschool this week, and each had been given a different destination. One was for Grandma. Another was apparently for Gus, who was supposed to appreciate it while sitting beside the refrigerator. Callie shifted the books higher under her arm. “Show it to who?” 

“Ryan.” Juna looked down the hall toward his apartment. 

The door opened before Callie could answer. Ryan stepped out with a travel mug in one hand and his jacket over the other arm. He checked his pocket for his keys, noticed them, and smiled. Callie had seen him twice during the week, once while collecting mail and once when Juna had held them both in the hallway to explain why her mitten was wet. She had enjoyed the second conversation more than its subject deserved. 

“Morning,” he said, pulling his door shut. 

“Did you find your cups?” Juna asked. 

Ryan held up the travel mug. “Found this one.” 

“That’s not a cup.” Juna examined it from where she stood. 

“It’s close.” He put it on the narrow ledge beside his door while he put on his jacket. “There are proper ones inside too.” 

“Any progress with the bookcase?” Callie asked. 

“Finished. It stands up and everything.” Ryan took the mug again. “I still have books in boxes, though. I bought another one before I’d unpacked the first lot.” 

“A bookcase?” 

“A book.” He glanced at the library stack under her arm. “What are you taking back?” 

Callie turned the books so he could see the covers. Two picture books and a paperback she had renewed once because coursework kept winning when she sat down to read it. She had stayed up too late finishing it on Thursday, partly because it was due and partly because the last chapters had finally made her want to know what happened. “These. She wants the dog one again, but I’d like to try something else before I can recite it in my sleep.” 

“There are different dogs,” Juna informed him. 

“There are. Unfortunately, Mommy knows all their names now.” Callie checked that the library card was in the outside pocket of her bag. 

Ryan looked at the paperback. “Did you like that?” 

“Mostly. The ending annoyed me.” 

“Wrong person did it?” 

“The right person did it. They just forgot to explain how he got into the house.” Callie tapped the cover with a finger. “They spent three chapters telling me the door was locked.” 

“Fair complaint.” Ryan checked the time on his phone and put it away. “We’ve got a decent children’s section at work, if you want to look sometime. There’s a low shelf of used ones too. You don’t have to commit to full price for a book you might be asked to read ninety times.” 

“Ninety?” Callie glanced at Juna. “That would be a trial period.” 

Juna was still looking toward their door. “My picture’s inside.” 

“What picture?” Ryan asked. 

“It has a rabbit.” Juna adjusted Gus beneath her arm. “And rain.” 

“Another day,” Callie told her before the description could require them to unlock the apartment. Ryan needed to get to work, and they had already taken longer leaving than she intended. “We’ll let him see it when he’s not going somewhere.” 

“I’ll look forward to it.” Ryan nodded toward the building entrance. “You heading out?” 

Callie took Juna’s hand and followed him down the corridor. He opened the main door, and she stepped outside into a morning bright enough to make her regret leaving her sunglasses on the kitchen counter. The pavement was dry for once. Ryan stopped beside a parked car while Callie led Juna toward the RAV4, then called back when she asked what time the bookstore closed. He was working until two; the store stayed open later. 

She thanked him and put the books on the passenger seat before helping Juna into her car seat. At the library, her daughter would probably change her mind about the dog book and want something entirely different. Callie could still visit the bookstore afterward, or after lunch. There were books there she could browse for herself, and Ryan had invited them to look. She did not need to pretend that his being there was irrelevant. She wanted to talk to him again. That was a perfectly reasonable thing to want. 

The library visit took most of the morning. Juna found a book about a bear making bread and another about a mouse that wore a coat, then objected when Callie suggested choosing between them. They took both. Callie found the next book by the author whose locked door had irritated her and read the back before adding it to the stack. Apparently she was willing to give him another chance. By the time they got home, Juna wanted lunch, Gus needed to be put somewhere comfortable, and Maggie was sitting at the table beside a half-finished model. 

“You’re back.” Maggie lifted a piece of cardboard to check the cut along its edge. “How did the negotiations go?” 

“We brought home more books than we returned.” Callie put the stack beyond the reach of the glue. “Which feels like losing.” 

“You should read the contracts more carefully.” Maggie fitted the piece against another, frowned, and set it down. Juna climbed onto the chair beside her to inspect the model, and Maggie moved the knife out of reach before explaining which part was supposed to be a wall. 

Callie made sandwiches and cut an apple, listening while Juna described the bear’s baking plans. She had only looked through the pictures, but she already had firm opinions about who ought to help him. Maggie said she would appreciate similar cooperation from her group. Callie carried the plates to the table, moved a ruler so Juna would have room, and mentioned that they might go to the bookstore later. 

“For more books?” Maggie asked. 

“Ryan said they have used children’s books.” 

“And he’ll be there?” Maggie turned the model slightly to keep Juna from leaning against its wet corner. 

“Until two.” Callie sat down and took the lid off her daughter’s water bottle. 

“Right.” Maggie reached for her sandwich without adding anything. 

Callie had been prepared to explain that she wanted to look at the store anyway. Since Maggie had not asked, she ate instead. Juna could use books they did not have to return, and used ones would let Callie buy a couple without turning an afternoon outing into a larger expense. She would also see Ryan in a place where he did something other than carry bags or assemble furniture. She was interested in that. Maggie might already know, but she did not need to announce it over lunch. 

They reached the bookstore a little after one. Callie parked on the side street Ryan had mentioned and walked back with Juna, who had insisted that Gus come too. The front window held a mixture of new releases and handwritten staff recommendations. Inside, a bell sounded above the door, and Callie paused to find the children’s section before Juna could choose a direction. The store smelled of paper and coffee. A man near the front was turning pages beside a display table, and a woman behind the register was helping someone locate a title on her screen. 

Ryan was halfway down an aisle, crouching beside a carton of books. He looked up at the bell, saw them, and stood with a small stack still in his hands. “You found it.” He put the books on the shelf before coming over. “How was the library?” 

“Successful enough that this might be excessive.” Callie stepped aside as the man from the display passed them. 

“Mommy got a book too,” Juna said. 

“Did she?” Ryan glanced at Callie. “Another locked door?” 

“Same author. I’m giving him a chance to explain himself.” Callie smiled and took Juna’s hand again when her daughter began inspecting a display of bookmarks. 

Ryan led them toward the back, where a rug and two small chairs stood beside low shelves. He showed Callie the used section and explained how the prices were marked. Juna found a book with a rabbit on the cover and brought it to him. He crouched to look, then asked whether she wanted one about rabbits or whether this was the rabbit from her picture. 

“My rabbit’s purple.” She opened the book across both hands, bending one corner. 

“Careful,” Callie said, moving the corner free of her thumb. 

Ryan examined the illustration. “This one’s brown.” 

“He could be purple,” Juna said. 

“I suppose he could.” Ryan looked along the shelf, then selected another book. “There’s a purple animal in this. I think it’s a cat.” 

Juna studied the cover. “That’s a monster.” Callie looked over his shoulder. It was definitely a monster. 

“Right,” Ryan said. “I’m still learning this section.” 

“It has three eyes.” Juna held the book closer to show him. 

“I missed one.” He accepted the correction without trying to make the monster into a cat, then set both books on the little table so she could compare them. When a customer called his name from the aisle, he stood and told Callie he would be back if they needed anything. 

Callie sat in one of the small chairs while Juna looked through the rabbit book. Her knees came up higher than she would have liked, but the chair let her stay close enough to help with the pages. She watched Ryan listen to a customer describe a cover she remembered more clearly than the title. He asked a couple of questions, checked a shelf, and came back with two possibilities. The first was wrong. The second produced immediate recognition and a longer explanation about where she had first read it. Ryan stayed with her until she finished. 

Juna brought Callie the monster book, open to a page where the three-eyed creature was trying to hide behind a much smaller tree. Callie read it aloud. Her daughter liked the part where he was discovered and asked to hear it again before they reached the ending. By the second reading, Callie could see why people bought books about monsters behaving badly. The pictures did half the work. She checked the price and put it beside the rabbit book, deciding they could take both. 

When they returned toward the register, Ryan was helping a woman in a green jacket. A Little sat on her shoulder, his feet resting against the upper fold of the fabric and one hand gripping a seam near her collar. Her hair was tied back clear of him. As she stopped beside the counter, she rested her fingertips against her shoulder long enough for him to shift his position. He let go of the seam with one hand and pointed toward two books Ryan had set out. 

Callie waited near a display while Juna studied their purchases. Ryan asked whether they wanted the book with the walking routes or the illustrated guide. The Little answered, but Callie could not distinguish the words. Ryan leaned closer, keeping his hands on his own side of the counter, and waited for him to repeat it. Then he opened the illustrated book near the back and held it at the man’s height. Callie could see photographs and a map across the pages. 

The Little pointed again, and Ryan turned back a few pages. His companion stood still while he looked, adjusting her hand beneath him when someone passing behind her brushed the back of her jacket. He caught the seam, waited until the movement stopped, and returned his attention to the book. A moment later Ryan set the walking guide aside and carried the other title to the register. 

Juna had noticed the man too. She looked from the woman’s shoulder to Callie’s, apparently considering the available space. Callie knew the question before her daughter asked it. “Can I sit there?” 

“On my shoulder?” 

Juna nodded, lifting Gus to indicate where both of them would go. “You can sit on my lap later,” Callie told her. Callie moved the books to her other hand and steered Juna clear of the aisle. “You’re a bit bigger than he is.” 

The woman gathered her purchase and turned toward the door with her hand near her shoulder again. The Little stayed seated, looking out across the store. Callie had seen people carry Littles in their hands on campus and tuck them into bags with an opening left clear. The shoulder arrangement kept him high enough to see what was happening without anyone setting him on a counter. It also meant every turn of the woman’s body moved the surface beneath him. She took the corner around the display slowly, and he changed his grip before she did. 

Ryan came over when they had gone. “Did you find anything?” 

“Two.” Callie held up the books. “You sold the monster by incorrectly identifying it.” 

“I’ll put that on my list of techniques.” He took them to the counter, where the woman at the computer stepped aside long enough for him to ring them up. Juna listened carefully while he explained the total to Callie, then asked whether the rabbit needed a bag. 

“They can go together.” Callie paid and accepted the paper bag before Juna could make a separate transportation arrangement for each book. 

Ryan checked the clock above the counter. “I’m nearly finished, if you’re not in a hurry. There’s a place round the corner that does coffee. Juice too,” he added, looking at Juna. 

Callie had been trying to work out whether she could suggest something without making him feel he had to leave work early. His offering solved that problem neatly. “We can wait.” 

“Give me ten minutes.” He pointed toward a shelf near the register. “You might like some of those while you’re here.” 

Callie browsed while he finished with the carton he had been unpacking. Juna stood beside her and opened the monster book through the top of the bag. There were mysteries on the shelf, along with several novels Callie recognized from other students’ recommendations. She found a paperback she had meant to read and checked the price, then put it back. She had enough books for now. She took a photograph of the cover instead, so she would remember it when she had time. 

Ryan came out from behind the register with his jacket on and said goodbye to the woman working there. Callie had put Juna’s coat back on by then, although one sleeve needed to be pulled free of Gus. Ryan held the door while she fixed it. Outside, Juna wanted to carry the books herself. Callie let her hold the bag until the bottom dragged against the pavement, then folded the top over to shorten it and gave it back. 

The coffee shop was close enough that they did not need the car. Ryan asked whether they preferred a table outside, and Callie chose one beside the wall where Juna would have room without being in the path of people walking past. It was sunny, but the shade was cool. Callie kept her jacket on and took Gus while her daughter climbed into a chair. Ryan went inside to order after asking what they wanted. Callie took out her phone to send him her share, then realized they had not exchanged numbers. 

“We should probably fix that,” she said when he came back with the receipt and a little numbered stand. 

Ryan took out his phone. She gave him her number, and he sent a message before putting it away. Callie saved the contact and paid him for their drinks and the pastry Juna had chosen. Her daughter was making the rabbit book stand upright against the number, which was going to end badly if someone set a hot cup beside it. Callie laid the book flat. 

“What made you pick electrical engineering?” Ryan asked, settling into the chair opposite. 

Callie began with the answer she usually gave adults who asked about college: she liked building things and wanted to understand how they worked. Then Ryan asked what she had built, and she found herself explaining the small motor project she had brought up with Oliver. She had changed one part after another because each alteration solved a problem and introduced a different one. At some point she had stopped thinking of it as a finished thing and begun treating it as something she could keep improving. 

“Did it work?” Ryan asked. 

“Yes. Not quite how I wanted.” Callie moved her water bottle away from Juna’s book. “That’s usually the part that keeps me interested.” 

“I get annoyed when something doesn’t work.” 

“So do I. Then I get annoyed because I can’t work out why.” She stopped when she realized she had begun drawing an imaginary connection on the table with her finger. “I’m making this sound fun.” 

“You look like you think it is.” Ryan glanced at the little path she had traced. “I don’t know enough to follow the motor part, but I understand wanting to know what went wrong.” 

The server brought their drinks, and Callie cleared a place for Juna’s juice. Ryan passed over napkins and moved his coffee farther from her daughter’s reach. Juna wanted the pastry cut into pieces. The first piece was apparently too big, the next too small, and Callie gave her the remaining half rather than continuing to refine it. 

“Mommy fixes things,” Juna told Ryan through a mouthful. 

“Swallow first.” Callie waited until she did. “What things?” 

“My horse.” 

“His leg came out. I pushed it back in.” Callie took the napkin Juna was about to use on the book instead of her fingers. 

“Still counts,” Ryan said. He unwrapped the sandwich he had bought for himself. “You said you came out with Maggie?” 

“We came together. She’s studying design.” Callie described how they had searched for a place they could afford and divided the jobs once they moved in. Maggie was better at remembering which cupboard was supposed to hold what. Callie had assembled the table and figured out why the lamp flickered. Neither was especially successful at convincing Juna that the kitchen floor did not need to be a temporary home for animals. 

“Did you know each other back in Minnesota?” he asked. 

“Since we were kids.” Callie pulled the pastry plate back from the table edge. “She’s seen most of my bad decisions.” 

“That’s a lot of information for someone you share a refrigerator with.” 

“It is. Luckily, I have information too.” Callie smiled, then took a sip of coffee. It was hotter than she expected, and she put it down before trying again. “Did you know anyone here before you moved?” 

“Not really. I’d been out before, but I didn’t have somebody waiting with an apartment.” Ryan looked toward the row of shops as a delivery van went past. “I wanted to try living somewhere different. This seemed like a good place to start.” 

“Do you miss New York?” 

“Some things. I knew where everything was.” He turned back to her. “Here I keep finding out the place I need is on the next street over.” 

“I drove round the wrong building for ten minutes my first week. Juna was telling me to go home, which was what I was trying to do.” Callie checked her daughter, who was pressing a fingertip against each of the monster’s eyes. “It gets easier.” 

Ryan asked what she missed about Minnesota, and Callie had to think before giving an answer that did not become a list of her family. She missed being able to drop into Grey’s and know who would be behind the counter. She missed the football games, although several of the people she used to go with were no longer in Ridgemont either. Mostly she missed being able to ask someone to come over without first considering the time difference or the cost of a flight. 

“My sister keeps sending me pictures of snow,” she said. “I think I’m supposed to feel guilty.” 

“Do you?” 

“A little. Not enough to want it here.” 

Juna turned a page and looked up. “Grandpa has snow.” 

“He does.” Callie reached for her cup again. “We’ll see him when we go back.” 

Her daughter accepted this and returned to the monster. Ryan waited until she was occupied before asking about Callie’s paperback from the hallway. He had read it, although apparently he did not remember the locked door either. Then he admitted that he sometimes looked at the ending of a mystery before deciding whether to finish it. 

Callie set her cup down. “You read the end first?” 

“Sometimes. If I’m not sure it’s worth it.” 

“But then you know who did it.” Callie had stayed up far too late finishing books because she wanted that answer. Finding it in advance would have taken away half her reason to read. 

“I still get to find out how.” Ryan folded the sandwich wrapper around the remaining crumbs and set it on his plate. “Sometimes that’s the interesting part.” 

“Unless there’s a locked door.” Callie shook her head, amused and more offended than the subject reasonably warranted. “I can’t do that. I’d keep thinking about what I’d spoiled.” 

“You could try it on a book you don’t like.” 

“That’s what putting it down is for.” She smiled when he laughed. “How often do you do this?” 

“Not every time.” Ryan broke off a small piece of his sandwich crust. “I’m making it sound worse than it is.” 

“I’m not sure you are.” 

Juna interrupted to ask for the pastry plate, which was already in front of her. She meant the napkin beneath it. Callie shifted the plate, handed over the napkin, and lost the next thing she had been about to say. Ryan waited while she sorted it out, then picked up the conversation by asking which books she did finish. By the time Callie checked her phone, they had been sitting there considerably longer than she planned. Maggie had sent a photograph of the model with a message saying the wall was finally attached. Callie replied that they would be back soon. 

“I should get her home,” she said, gathering the napkins. Juna was leaning against her coat and had begun asking Callie to turn the pages for her. “We’ve done a lot of sitting still.” 

“Sure.” Ryan looked at the book, then at the half-finished juice. “Do you want a lid for that?” 

Callie thanked him and packed the purchases while he went inside. She had been enjoying herself enough that leaving felt like interrupting something. They could talk in the hallway another day, but she did not especially want to wait for both of them to happen to open their doors at the same time. When he returned with the lid, she took it and asked the question before making it more complicated. 

“Do you want to come over for dinner? Tonight, I mean. Maggie’ll be there.” 

Ryan paused with the spare straw still in his hand, then smiled. “Yeah. I’d like that.” 

“About six?” 

“Six works.” He handed her the straw. “Should I bring anything?” 

“Just yourself. I’ve already got food.” Callie put the lid on Juna’s cup and helped her down from the chair. Her daughter wanted to carry the books again, so Callie took Gus and gave her the shortened bag. Ryan walked with them as far as the parked car, where he said he had a couple of errands to finish before going home. Callie fastened Juna’s seat belt, set the juice in its holder, and got into the driver’s seat with a dinner guest arranged. 

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